Western surprises

We did the East, but now we do the good teams:

NOT SURPRISED

At the bodacious NBA ball so far, performed in spite of the Thunder on the horizon.

Oh, they say you can't see thunder, but if that ain't thunder, then what is it I'm smelling?

Oh, what, you can't smell thunder? Why did I ever hire you for my wind farm?

Yes, "my wind farm" is what I call the miniature golf course I work at part-time, but these mills can't teeter with all these kids around. I need noses in the air, sniffing thunder.

OKC should not lose, again. It will lose, I think, but the Thunder shouldn't lose another one. They are 18-1, should win out, sweep every playoff round.

The MVP is the MVP, Cason Wallace took off, the group's second-best player hasn't even worked yet and still these Thunder own a Net Rating five-points higher than second-place Houston.

Five or six times this week I've run Tankathon. Twice this week it ended up with the Thunder earning the top pick in the draft from the Clippers, and the No. 9 pick from the Jazz. Best-possible scenarios, but also likely. Beyond that, incoming 2026 first-rounders from the 76ers, and Rockets. The Thunder hold the rights to everyone on CBS and TruTV this March.

Yet we play on, again bodaciously, undeterred by the rumble outta Oklahoma. Linking every contending collection is the tale of last year's Pacers, who took the champs to the brink and may have beaten them, too, had one of the farmboys not stepped on a stray nail.

There isn't a team in the West's top ten that can't take the Thunder to that limit, and each play like it. No. 11 Portland is the only one of that group looking in from the outside, they're also the only group to defeat the Thunder in five months. The East isn't rattled, it knows it can compete with OKC, the East is full of No. 7 seeds tussling through performances, knowing each outing could be the difference between Play-In legs, or a week off before a two-month run.

Every competitive NBA team saw the same thing we saw in June – OKC is nearly impeccable, but any NBA team can lose an NBA game – and wants in. Wants to be the three-round team out West, battling the Thunder as OKC takes on its 200th game in two years. Wants to be the group from the East, this year's Pacers, sweating like Desmond Bane, champing like they've just been dealt for for first-round draft picks.

That puffs up a fella, as does the possibilities of the open road. The East is clear, the West packed, the ball bodacious.

Unless you've had to play the Thunder, thrice.

SURPRISED

Taken aback, even given the caliber of opposition caveat, that the Kings are wildly terrible. Legendarily bad even before Domantas Sabonis' injury (out a month with a torn left meniscus). I thought Sacto would be perfectly normal, bad. Out ahead by 14 in the second quarter before eventually blowing it at home.

Instead, they're blown out from the start. Worse, head coach Doug Christie lets loose his entire tank after every fourth defeat, an ear-splitting start for the 5-14 Kings. We'd notice them less if Doug kept cool, acknowledging the competition as a way to explain the point-differential horror.

Sacramento is No. 28 in Net Rating. To the outside League Pass observer, not nearly on par with the No. 25 Jazz, No. 23 Mavericks or retiring members of the No. 24 Clippers, all three own point differentials approximately half as poor as Sacramento's.

The Kings are run, supposedly, by Corporate Guy Scott Perry. Now on his fifth NBA team in 18 years, doing who knows.

He recently wasted Sam Amick's time, 30 minutes of it, ostensibly discussing the Kings but touching on absolutely zero specifics, or even any basketball back and forth I could discern. After thousands of transcribed words of absolutely nothing, Perry thought it best to send Amick a follow-up text:

(Note: As Perry would share in a subsequent text message that relates to this topic, the culture he envisions building would always include his “Six pillars: Competitive, Tough, TEAM ORIENTED, Professional, Accountable, and Disciplined.”)

The Kings are so fucked!

Scott Perry's never been on a team without a general manager, which means someone else is the general manager of the Sacramento Kings. Before anyone speaks for that class before strutting out like a lion, we'll just have to watch the Kings for scheming details.

SURPRISED

Rox doing it with selective threes, taking the third-fewest per possession but splashing a league-leading 41 percent from deep.

The addition of Kevin Durant's inclination to step inside a few feet worked on paper because Fred VanVleet was around, drawing attention even if FVV only hit the league average on threes. Fred's injury was an enervating blow, or at least should be, and Reed Sheppard making up for his bounce is something I did not anticipate. I thought Sheppard would eventually solidify his Bad Boy status but presumed it would take another fitful season. Wrongorino.

Durant is currently out due to personal reasons, but the Rockets prepared for his periodic breaks, similar to the way it prepared for Steven Adams' upcoming rests (he's out with a sprained ankle already) by loading the lineup with offensive rebounders. This is a team with many similar players which also fit, gotta be fun for that coaching staff.

Tari Eason's return will help, Dorian Finney-Smith hasn't worked all year, Sheppard should only improve, and, honey, you've barely touched your Clint Capela (a measured 10.5 minutes per game) yet. Jeff Green hasn't even dunked in 2025-26. The season doesn't begin until Jeff Green dunks, but Houston's done well to prove itself as a team which digs its own prospects.

NOT SURPRISED

The NBA is as fast and fun and efficient as ever, and it is wearing its performers down:

They will not stop running and shooting threes, and nobody will vote for fewer games. It is time for the cranked-up capitalists in charge of the NBA to create a money-making scheme which allows for rest and recovery.

They'll have to be creative, and not play by rules established for them in the 1940s. I wish this weren't a challenge.

NOT SURPRISED

Dallas didn't go long before bringing Mark Cuban back.

Mavs owner Patrick Dumont traded Luka Dončić because he wanted to be cool. Nico Harrison is cool, or was cool, he is calm on his phone and dresses nicely and when Nico Harrison puffs up and insists two-way basketball is the fewest steps toward a championship, if you want to be cool, you listen.

Even if you were a few games away from the championship a few months before.

Cuban is famous and on TV which is very cool to people like Patrick Dumont, it isn't surprising in the slightest Cuban was Dumont's first choice (over a pair of worthy in-house candidates) to re-route the Harrison-ravaged Mavs. It also isn't surprising that Cuban failed to read the room upon bowing out of the basketball business, and it isn't surprising to recently learn Cuban tried to be friends with Dirk and Nash before Cuban bought the Mavs, tried to buy Dirk and Nash a drink, was turned down.

(He also sells out Hubert Davis in the podcast. Actually, he sold out a "North Carolina" product for his fear of flying, but I knew it was Hubert Davis without looking it up.

So I guess I just sold out Hubert Davis, which, fine.)

Mark Cuban sez "no" to trading Anthony Davis at the moment, but that's what you say when you haven't been introduced to a "yes" yet. The Mavs (sixth-worst record) know or should know Dallas can slip in the lottery as easily as launch into a top pick, and that the lowest three spots on Tankathon are mostly spoken for. Even with Dallas' nasty Western schedule adding losses the Wizards have to work harder to lose.

To trade Anthony Davis after 14 career Maverick games is a punchline, but that's a punchline you live with if a trade helps the next 820 Dallas Maverick games. Save for a few Tito's-loaded luxury box-types, Mavs fans won't boo Davis as rancorously as Harrison. Mavs fans want AD to succeed, luxe up that trade value before February.

Cuban didn't give Nico Harrison any credit as a basketball scout, only wheel-greasin' executive. Mark seeks, once again, to prove he reads the smartest blogs.

Cuban also understands Dumont's role in this, Dumont will never be blamed, rather excused for requiring a big miss before hitting. Mavs fans require living with this justification because Dumont is the one in charge, and not going away soon. Cuban never blamed Dumont for his franchise-altering fuckup, according to Tim McMahon, choosing to pile on Nico Harrison for the Luka loss. Which scans. Must be the King's advisors, couldn't be the King.

Many teams could push themselves over the top with the February addition of Anthony Davis, who makes over $54 million this season and over $121 combined in 2026-27 and 2027-28. Those numbers complicate any deal, as does the delicacy of Dallas trying to lose.

Sit AD, trade Davis into cap space this summer. If the pick tanks and (by then) 33-year old Davis proves injury-prone for the rest of 2025-26, use the pick if to get off Davis' contract, Kyrie Irving's contract ($82 million the next two seasons). Use the Lakers' pick, whatever it takes. Nothing against their locker room presence, but they will be mostly unavailable and overpaid even when available.

Whoever gets Davis, could get a championship out of it. He doesn't have to be healthy in December, February. Just May and June.

"I could see it," said a West executive who saw Chicago play recently. "[Josh] Giddey has worked well with Vucevic, but he could use a roll man to throw it up to."

I hope this was a Mavericks exec quoted here, attempting to pump up his trade value, because Anthony Davis hasn't made himself available "to throw it up to" in years. The man rim-runs like no other in the NBA, but his days of rim-jumping are over.

SURPRISED

I was taken aback when Golden State's ongoing Kuminga Scenario played out as others expected because I am a flyover Polyanna. I thought they'd at least try to make it to 2026.

These guys have two more months to wait, less than two months, no time at all until Jan. 15, when Kuminga can be traded. And yet, like your author when asked recently by a well-meaning 79-year hippie if he likes the work of Bill Maher, the Warriors cannot stop themselves from revealing the raw truth:

Kerr says Kuminga looks about as ready to contribute to the we'll-take-any-help Warriors as Sad Never-Grandpa Bill Maher is ready to pick up minutes for the injured Al Horford.

Thank goodness Bill Maher never had kids, because Bill Maher already acts like Bill Maher's Rich Son.

The Warriors need bodies, Al Horford and Draymond Green are injured, aching Uh-Ohs at the moment, DeAnthony Melton plays like a center but cannot play center. The exasperation for Steve Kerr is what little Kuminga adds to the mix. He can score when everyone looks for him, when things are slowed down for him, and he didn't embarrass himself laterally during the Warriors' nice start to the season.

But he was a restricted free agent, and those guys are always out of shape. Don't worry, Steve:

Who knows what Kuminga's sense of timing is at this point, this was the guy who was assured that his big free agent contract was on its way "soon," and that only kinda happened and certainly not "soon."

Wednesday's loss at home to Houston dropped the W's to 10-10. Teams won't want to help the Warriors (No. 10 in the West) cling to that playoff berth, and teams (if summer is any indication) aren't after what Jonathan Kuminga tempts with.

At his best, he is a compact scorer. Look around, we got lots of those. And they're in shape!

NOT SURPRISED

The Pelicans are run by three guys trying to save their asses. One of whom named his son after his greatest rival, the other one is the son, and the other one is Troy Weaver. Best known for being stricken from the "Worst General Managers Ever" column due to space concerns. I didn't mind the word count, I just didn't want Troy Weaver taking space in my head.

Weaver isn't all Killian Hayes. He drafted other players, drafted well, made moves which were at least understandable at the time. Nobody's clamored for his return due to those moves, though, yet he's taken worked two different NBA executive positions since splitting from Detroit. Troy and Joe Dumars' kid Jordan Dumars isolated themselves from everyone else, and now they get to run the Pelicans until the Benson family can be roused into acting again, so, 2028?

The problem with waiting out the executive trio is the winning. They'll win, even in the West. New Orleans may finish with the West's worst record, but still factor in a .500 month somewhere in 2025-26.

Zion Williamson is in better shape. Even if he requires the odd eight days off, he's still better suited for the task. These guys may hate their job but they like the fans, enjoy the purpose under interim head coach James Borrego. There are enough good players on the Pels to throw at teams through April. They'll have to, they don't have a pick. Or the Pacer pick.

The injured Herbert Jones decided to stop playing (poorly) through injury, and is taking a needed break. Dejounte Murray is available in January, and I'm under the firm opinion that when Jordan Poole returns he will not want to mess around, he's done it already and Willie Green is gone, JP can move on toward professionalism now.

Not announcing Willie Green? Where does that come from? A public address announcer doesn't make that decision on their own, there is timing involved with the team's introduction song, actual lighting to consider. It is kind of a big deal to go against eight decades of pro basketball norms, but that's our Pelican front office.

SURPRISED

Jazz are good. They were sick of losing, it turns out, and wanted to dunk.

Utah owns the ninth-worst record in the NBA. They need it down to No. 5, at best, to be safe. To keep that pick from OKC.

When do we start clipping wings? The 5-12 Jazz need a 20-win season to safely keep Utah's first-round pick, a quarter of the way there is cuttin' it close.

NOT SURPRISED

Suns, sued again.

Mat Ishbia, the two minority owners allege, made a loan to the Suns at an interest rate that is significantly above market rate. They say he leased the Mercury’s new practice facility to himself. They also claim that he has turned the Suns and Mercury into money-losing franchises while he intends to make money through [United Wholesale Mortgage, Ishbia's company].

In a world of buybacks, selling and reselling yourself, this barely rates. But it is nice to see it revealed!

The 12-7 Suns are alright, and Phoenix fans deserve a run after the horrors of the 2010s. The Suns are slow and sloppy and top-10 in offense and top-12 in defense, in a month they'll add Jalen Green, they are the House of I Don't Know If This Guy Is Good.

Dillon Brooks can't miss, from anywhere, Mark Williams doesn't drop anything, the play is crisp and interesting. Total rookie coach stuff, stick the novice with a hopeless situation and watch them make it relatively hapless. In spite of the billions spent, the Suns look locked into life not unlike the Pacers of the last, what, 35 years? The Pacers don't rebuild, the Suns can't rebuild and feature a superior player at an insignificant position.

Can't upgrade, either, unless we can do something creative with Jalen Green, move (the potentially unneeded) Khaman Maluach, who won't turn 20 until next September.

Wednesday's win over Sacramento was 48-minute proof, the Suns are the normal ones now.

TOP THANKSGIVING FOODS

Topping all lists?

Any product made from wheat, including alcohol. I love bread so much.

Beyond that?

1. Sausage biscuit breakfast sandwich, microwaved 20 minutes before dinner to get a rise out of mom.
2. Todd's fourth Celsius.
3. Aunt Felicia's car windows rolled down, pushing her cigarette smoke back from the outside and into your face in the back of the car.
4. Thumbed potatoes.
5. "I can't eat any of this I told you to tell them I was vegan."
6. Politics, but without the spin.
7. Aaron's inhaler (if we can ever find it).
8. Your father's phone (if we can ever find it).
9. (Forgot about the) rolls.
10. Kelly's forced D.B. Cooper corollary.
11. Fried onion crumb in the corner of the fried onion can or bag.
12. Aunt Deb's Loaded Insinuation (Casserole)
13. Furtive attempts to contact closed-for-Thanksgiving townie bar in bid to retrieve phone lost earlier that morning.
14. A needed Dolphin victory.
15. "Those peas were for my dog."
16. (where did you find a bottle of) Killian's Beer
17. Marc Rich reference.
18. Bit-O-Honey
19. "bit o' honey" (prescribed narcotic-strength pain medication).
20. A charger.
21. A block.
22. A cord.
23. Whatever you guys call the phone thing.
24. No, that's for the old phones.
25. Ice from a bag purchased in July.

LIFE'S A GAS

Thank you for reading! My last few months were filled with family, I was able to take that space because of you, dear reader. Thank you for your support.

NEXT: Chris Paul traded to the Lakers (but in 2011).