Next year is now

The heating pad was on 26-year old Luka Dončić's shoulders on New Year's Eve's eve, not the birthday man, 41-year old LeBron James.

What were you doing when LeBron James was born? If you were doing anything, even snoozing in a bassinet, you are too old for the club. Not all clubs. Just, the club.

LeBron got out of the club early in life because he's always been basic dad, head-bobbing to a song he desperately wants to enjoy more than he does, never willing to admit that he enjoys Destiny's Child far more than the weight of Destiny's Child's combined solo projects. Pickleball, red wine, golf. Can World War I "counterfactuals" be far away?

Nobody's well-rounded off-court interests helped topple Gen Z on New Year's Eve's eve, the Pistons kept throwing twentysomething after twentysomething at the baseline and rim until the Lakers fell asleep in their chair with the television flickering someone making a joke about the government. We still had to watch the end of the blowout while they snoozed.

Tough time getting angry at the Lakers, especially with Lakers coach J.J. Redick doing all the work for me. This was the best bad team in October and November, December ran 5-7.

The Lakers (20-11, tied for No. 5 in the West) banked wins in autumn for moments like this, the team is to be commended for yoinking wins in two-thirds its games with a point differential barely above water.

Moments are about to become less memorable, Austin Reaves is out for a month to keep his calf from cringing, LeBron James cannot stop pushing golf references into everything:

I hate it when middle-aged men drag their mediocre hobbies into their professional life.

Anyway, I bought a "clean boost" off a guy on Craigslist, he had pro-gun stickers all over his front door, $25, nice pedal, +15db preamp. He tried to talk to me about his particular type of Marshall and I pretended I knew what he was talking about when I did not. Obviously he had many, many security cameras on his front stoop. I didn't see a gun, but then again I didn't look too closely at the belt portion of his trackpants. Of course I was in Michigan City.

The Lakers are nowhere near the back nine, rather, in the rough at seven (but way ahead in the scorecard). Detroit hits Los Angeles on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off before hosting the Grizzlies. Nick Smith Jr. stepped into Austin Reaves' place and Nick Smith Jr. (remember him? Hornets?) isn't bad, and doesn't turn 22 until April. LeBron is 41 and averages 20-7-5, these last 22 years have been a privilege.

January will pose a small challenge even if Smith (33 points on 25 shots in first two games with Reaves sidelined, 1-6 and three points in the role on Tuesday) steps up. Looming is fortnight scheduled away from home to close the month, eight road contests. Rui Hachimura rests his calf to start the month, Luka looks like he's about to separate his shoulder complaining at calls.

Yet the team plays 14 of 17 at home Feb. 5 through the Ides of March, road games in Phoenix, San Francisco and Denver. Los Angeles won't leave that part of their world for nearly six weeks and, yes, Denver is absolutely part of a rich person from Los Angeles' orbit. Denver is the San Francisco for people who love to leave Los Angeles to visit Phoenix.

Speaking of, here's Redick, explaining his call for a Laker team meeting last weekend:

“Today was, for myself, I’m always gonna look in the mirror first,” Redick calmly said Saturday. “And I think it’s easy as a player, as a coach to say, ‘It’s this guy’s fault,’ or it’s ‘We’re not doing this ’cause X, Y, and Z.’ And so … we had a great meeting as a staff this morning. Came in super early. And we met with the players, and it was very positive. And it was also listening. It was also for our staff, myself, to listen to the players and what they need.”

Instead of rage and reaction, Redick preached “recalibration and reconnection.”

Serene. How did Redick's recalibratin' reflect with the charges?

One team source in the meeting termed it “anticlimactic."

L.A., still got it!

Redick wants a little less freelancing with LeBron out there and good, this isn't like Magic Johnson peering through lanes widened by illegal defense designations, a free free throw if a defender steps on the wrong line.

Game changed, easier to score but tougher to find guys.

Magic was allowed to drive in the car pool lane because he played point and forward, but modern rules won't allow someone to win on wit alone:

Los Angeles (No. 7 in offense) wants to be one of the top offenses because Los Angeles doesn't want to play defense. The Lakers (No. 25 defensively) need to start contesting jumpers. It may feel futile in exercise, but the numbers add up, I promise.

Each of the group's prominent performers, including defensive-first Reaves-replacement Marcus Smart, defend as if someone else is back there, ready to switch over. You know who's "back there?" DeAndre Ayton.

That's it. I'd drive down a lane if the fiercest opposition awaiting me was Jake LaRavia's top-15 steal rate. Hey man, watch what you're doing down there, don't forget about Jake LaRavia's steal rate. Top-15. Just behind Brandon Williams. Be careful. Top-15.

The Lakers take on the better of Jake LaRavia's former teams on Friday, Memphis, the bid to remain afloat begins then. Redick hasn't solved the LeBron/Luka/Reaves lineups and won't have a chance to for weeks with Reaves out, even provided Luka (shoulder pads in carryon) and James (ibuprofen pill the size of a spiral staircase) can fit on the plane.

This was never a plan, only an experience. LeBron is a Laker because he wanted to be there, regardless of roster, Dončić is here only because of Nico Harrison's odd approach to a 30-team market. Reaves is a second-round selection. It isn't luck, but it is something like it.

They've made the best of it, I'm around to enjoy it. Especially DeAndre Ayton, dunking.

L.A. CLIPPERS

Six in a row, well earned. Kawhi Leonard's 55 against Detroit was a study in diligence, finding the spot in spite of surroundings. I'm not convinced the locked-in Leonard could confirm the Pistons wearing any combination of blue or white or red following his performance.

The group squashed Sacramento on Tuesday, little to learn from that but way the Clippers lunged from the Kings' best attempt, L.A. won by 41. The two-oldest teams in the league, one wanted the other to know they were nothing alike.

L.A.'s average age (31) was previously skewed by the presence of 37-year old Brook Lopez, who rarely played, and 38-year old Chris Paul, waived on Dec. 3. Lopez only began playing recently – I know it says Brook earned minutes opening night and for several games beyond that – he really only started playing about a week ago. He hasn't played yet in 2026: Brook missed 11-12 attempts, all from three-point range, in a win over Utah on Thursday.

Clippers were forced to play through that win, in no small part to Brook's misfortunes from deep. Leonard dropped 45, the Clippers led by 21 in the first period and 17 at the end of the game but the Jazz (without Lauri Markkanen and Keyonte George and Ace Bailey, why did I watch this game) led most of the third quarter. That sorta night.

Here's how L.A. continues to work: Kris Dunn and Nicolas Batum remain healthy, Lopez reliever Yanic Konan Niederhäuser must continue mostly not embarrassing himself (he falls down a lot) during rookie minutes, Derrick Jones Jr. (career high 37 percent from deep) must make helpers pay, James Harden must continue earning double-figure free throw attempts on evenings where he is incapable of hitting the broad side of the beard with a jump shot.

Kawhi Leonard's ability to pull a half-Wilt on any given outing helps, he doesn't often go for wild scoring numbers in the regular season (see Clipper entry) and that is rather telling. The whole effort behind Kawhi's career is keeping it for playoff time, the man and his entire league was scarred by Zaza Pachulia, yet he's wringing the towel for the last of the suds here in deep winter, wins No. 10 and No. 12.

A dozen wins by January was not the plan, but the Clippers are 1.5 games behind Portland for the No. 10 seed, a Play-In seed, and Portland loses its pick if it sneaks in the playoffs. Memphis is No. 9, fifth-toughest schedule in January, Clippers own the ninth-easiest. The team will not be able to vault past the Play-In hopefuls, but as Kawhi's proven, this is not a club one wants to face with everything on the line.

I have no idea what to do when Ivica Zubac turns healthy again. He's back on court banging bodies with that bum left ankle but the Clippers haven't cleared him for a return. Zubac was not the problem, Brook is not better, but Brook is different. The NBA will live with a center rolling and collecting and jamming, but the NBA freaks out at three-pointers, loses its mind, defenses open up.

The Clippers earned zero points out of 11 different Brook Lopez possessions on Thursday and needed Leonard's 45 to survive against a team missing over 50 points per game and its top rookie. But they look different!

ORLANDO

Everyone does year-end lists, top posts of 2025. I won't make you re-read that shit. What was I thinking.

I can tell you my least-read, and it ain't even close: Southeastern season preview. Every post clicks to about the same percentage, no matter the subject, no matter how inscrutable the headline/image combination is, zero other emails fell or topped that mark by more than a few clicks. Not the 2025-26 Southeast Division preview. Half the clicks.

But Orlando is trying to win a title. They deserve my respect and attention in spite of those uniforms.

Anthony Black is a wee lad who sticks to his man like a dress sock which won't yank off. The kind of sock you only put on (and try to take off, later, on a bed that isn't yours) in a hotel.

ONE FREE THROW FOR YOUR MORTGAGE

"You, or your son?"

Eric Collins asked Dell Curry on air, I clicked away before I could hear the answer. I'm assuming Eric meant Steph.

The answer is Rick Mount.

HEAT

Four in a row, survived the Pistons on Thursday by six and topped the Hawks, Pacers, Nuggets by a combined 65 points, starting to thump instead of simply surviving. The streak hiked the club's Net Rating up from "ninth" to "ninth, but by a lot."

Miami is not the NBA's ninth-best team, the front five isn't overwhelming enough even if Tyler Herro is included, and Herro (out indefinitely with a busted big left toe) isn't. Lead toes aren't anything to mess with, they're only the first part of the body asked to go. Additionally, I wouldn't ask anyone to line up for Miami's track meet unless every bit of their foundation is in place, free from inflammation and/or fluids.

Gross, but the Heat run so dang much. Incessant sprinting, real "conditional team workouts in August"-stuff. All that running and then second-year suddenly-gets-it Kel'el Ware hits a three, he's 43-95 this season.

Now, the Bulls run. Bulls run with a center who often is not there, defensively, but can stretch the floor with his 25-foot flips. Chicago often in the same Play-In predicament as Miami, so, why is Miami different? The access to party drugs is about the same. There's beach. Chicago and Miami are quite alike.

Miami's odds are better because the team works with a coaching staff and front office that aren't out to save their own tails ahead of the franchise's front.

The Heat needed every bit of Detroit's unlit legs (the Pistons returned late from a long left-coast road trip in the hours before the match) to survive in the Pistons' arena on Thursday, but survive they did. Miami (tied for No. 6 in the East) can touch the No. 3 seed from here, it knows (No. 3) Boston's situation is up in the air until February, Toronto is weird, Philly unable to be trusted.

Don't get mad at me, that's what Miami thinks. If I wanted to say something mean about a team ahead of Miami in the standings I'd mention Orlando's terrible uniforms, again.

The Heat are a must-watch club, win or lose. The opponent runs through its paces against Miami in a way which is unique, I cannot recommend it enough. Use the other team's announcers, listen to them gawk. They know their guys need the run.

SUNS

Holy lord, Phoenix, stop rising.

That bench should have no business keeping in basketball games, but the Suns (19-14, No. 7) get the job done and in a pleasing sense. Devin Booker did not deserve to have his career bookended by b'awful basketball clubs.

Love a Phoenix surprise. The 1996-97 team I'll write a book about if someone pays me, the 2002-03 group was a gas, 2013-14 a blast.

January will prove a challenge, but, again, rookie coach. Rookie coaches are either a clean boost or dirty bust, there is no middle ground.

GUYS I ONCE THOUGHT WOULD PLAY A GREATER ROLE IN MY LIFE IN 2026

Justise Winslow. Jordan Bell. Cole Anthony. Carsen Edwards. Bol Bol. Troy Brown Jr. Nikola Mirotic. Willie Cauley-Stein.

Not stardom. Just, around. In my life more than they are.

Maybe Darius Bazley. They didn't play him much and now I see why.

Kyle Guy. Sekou Doumbouya turned 25 the other day, I did not think he'd star but also did not think he'd be out of the NBA by age 21.

If you asked me in 2013 whether Shane Larkin Jr. would still be in the NBA in 2025-26 I'd say "yes" but then make a joke about the Kings "counting as an NBA team," hoping the Kings would still serve as a strong punchline in a dozen years. Correct about the Kings, wrong about Larkin Jr. and, no, international intrigue does not count.

Yes, maybe, perhaps I thought there was a chance Salim Stoudemire would still be in the NBA in 2026.

MUSIC VIDEOS I ENJOYED

'Rabbit in Your Headlights' – Unkle
'Snowbound' – Donald Fagen
'Maneater' – Hall & Oates
'Girlfriend' – Matthew Sweet
'Shock the Monkey' – Peter Gabriel
'This Song' – George Harrison
'Bohemian Rhapsody' – Queen
(Every new Micheal Jackson video, ending with) 'Scream' – Michael and Janet Jackson
'Down With the Bass' – fIREHOSE

CRUEL TO BE KIND

Also this, played endless on early MTV. I do the Billy Bremner thumbs-up at least once per day.

Thank you for reading!