More All-Star moaning

All but two NBA teams work on Wednesday, only three games take place Thursday night, the NBA doesn't have an actual event until Houston tips off in Charlotte on Feb. 19 and that's bad news, because basketball keeps us from whining about basketball.

The week off is for All-Star festivities, the NBA has "NBA" planned for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. To which extent the programming resembles pro basketball is up for the viewer to decide. The closest event I can compare to NBA action during All-Star Weekend is the press-available shootarounds on Saturday afternoon, invariably ending in a chatty half-court shooting display. This, at least, resembles a thing the NBA does.

Sportswriters hate it when we don't know enough about the people in front of us to make a culturally credible joke, this is why the NBA's celebrity programming daunts. Rizz to ensue, we're assured, but the names of the "creators" at these events elude us: Jim-Jam and His Potatoface Six, MC Glen, Kurry Curtpatrick, Inhaler Rob, Madison Richie (But Not the Porn Star), Mic Penberthy, 87S3-92S1-9812N, BrknLeese, Tom Cavanagh, Bonnie Thrillstein, Whte Klaw and J-Don't.

I don't know why Ms. Richie (But Not The Porn Star) needs the qualifier as part of her actual name, but apparently it cleans up the email inboxes for each performer (they're on good terms), to say nothing of the SEO results.

One of those names sounds like someone's social security number, though, I hope he reconsiders that before NBA TV puts it on a chyron. And I'm sure Tom Cavanagh is great but he really should signify that he's not the guy from 'Ed.'

Zero problem with the NBA's list of celebrity events, do you know how many dumb people this employs? I don't mean "dumb" as in "a ridiculous amount," rather, dumb as in "real dumb." These people can't name half our states. BrknLeese calls every skyscraper he sees "the airport."