Don't worry on Christmas

Worry after Christmas – what will I wear on Boxing Day?!? – not after.

Worry the NFL is taking over the NBA's Christmas turf? Nah.

You can call it "Christmas turf," it reminds of the green outdoor porch mat at your Aunt's house that she only uses for Christmas parties.

Don't worry about the NFL, or Christmas turf. Football will draw 22-times the NBA's ratings on Thursday but most of you reading this do not work for the NBA, so, who cares. Especially when the NFL is scheduled to trot out their version of Bulls/Hawks (Cowboys/Commanders), Mavs/Bucks (Vikings/Lions) and Thunder/Pacers (Broncos/Chiefs).

(Yes, the Bulls are America's Team. Rough century so far but hope for the next generation, maybe the Zoomers can fix things.)

NFL is king, we know this, but I can't find a thing to worry about over the NBA on Christmas and we'll discuss as much after this silly picture.

NETS

Thought at this point in the season we'd worry over a 3-25 Nets team, threatening futility records, creating headlines for the wrong reasons.

Instead, 9-19. An actual threat to win NBA games.

Don't blame us for underestimating Brooklyn, in spite of fond memories from the previous season: Michael Porter Jr. often misses time with back woes, it ain't his fault but we expected a little time off. We watched Jordi Fernandez rally his charges in 2024-25, this team similarly competes and is pleasant to watch but BKN had to lose for a draft pick in 2025-26. I cynically presumed a New Zealand-style bottoming.

That may still happen, but for now:

Porter coulda sulked, instead he gets after it. His touch is true, that helps, but he busts tail and not in a bid for individual acclaim. He knows he's not making an All-Star team with this, another fully max deal or any sort of year-end award certification for his Denver-diligent duty. It is strange to see a man made serene in his professional life via his terrible, polluting, podcast.

No stars, play hard, constant movement, the Nets are not good but not bad. I don't know how relegation works, most of my soccer knowledge comes via three members of the rock group Oasis, but it appears these Nets would avoid it.

Meanwhile, Fernandez says the nicest things about Cam Thomas in the press. Thomas is out with a hamstring pull, the Nets started winning as soon as that hamstring pulled. Thomas left a game against the Pacers on Nov. 5, the score was 15-13 Nets but the Pacers were on a 7-nil run, Bonehead taught me about "nil." Then Cam pulled his hamstring, left the contest.

The Nets won that game with Thomas sidelined. Brooklyn is 9-12 with Thomas unable to touch the basketball, not playing his typical 31 minutes per game as starter. Nobody is writing on Christmas morning to tell you they enjoy watching Terance Mann start NBA basketball games a couple times per week but, man, Nets are at it.

I can relay this nugget – one team has to lose each NBA game, and the NBA needn't be up its own tail with fears of tanking. Six, seven NBA teams stinking each season is nothing new, and the critical attention it received this week is naked dog-wagging.

I can also relay this Nugget:

The NBA talked tanking this week and why. Why when we could talk reborn Mavs, Sixers. We didn't talk tanking when Mike D'Antoni's 1999 Nuggets went 14-36.

The NBA's 2026 problem is injuries, created by fatigue made worse by travel. It is insulting that the league treats anything but player injuries as the lead worry, but this is Christmas, so I'll just remind each reindeer that Mavs fans loved that tank for Dereck Lively II, and Philly fans dug the longer lurch for V.J. Edgecombe.

Washington is on its way toward a fifth-consecutive trip to the lottery and by the looks of Washington's recent performances, no top pick in 2026 will send them back to the 2027 playoffs. I mean no top pick, ever. Maybe Duncan.

A rotten stretch all rolled into a 5-23 team, but (though leaking the corporate crap was embarrassing) nothing needs upbraiding, the Wizards did nothing wrong. Maybe Bilal Coulibaly was a rough pick but he was a No. 8 pick, those are typically teetering, and next t0-nobody got anything out of the 2023 NBA draft. And I'm not done with Coulibaly, who shows up to training camp next season at all of 22.

Washington is dead-last in defense and it looks like it, I cannot stress how young the Wizards rotation is, and how old C.J. McCollum looks up top. It's a youth movement! It is supposed to lose. And, infamously (the Wizards lose a 2026 first-round pick if Washington falls out of the top-eight in the draft), Washington is enthused to lose. Like the minority party does while cheering bad economic news.

NBA fans begged their teams, for years, to bottom out. Don't add someone like Drew Gooden for a mid-level exception, don't trade a first-round draft pick. The Wizards did it correctly, only added Gooden as a (expectedly entertaining) color commentator, dotted the ledger with future draft picks before and after Washington (who didn't move in the 2022, 2023, and 2024 lotteries) viewed its disastrous drop from No. 2 to No. 6 in spring's draft lottery.

Tre Johnson, that disastrous result, drops 11 per game while looking capable beyond his years, doesn't drop his 20th birthday until March. But an NBA team in 2025-26 cannot have an entire rotation made up of players born after LeBron James' NBA debut and expect to win.

This year's Pacers – next year's Chiefs – took a knee to end the half. The 6-24 Pacers will make the best of it in the second half: Bennedict Mathurin and Jarace Walker and a 26-year old rookie trying to push Indiana past 98 points. This franchise already proved tanking is anathema, an affront! Indiana doesn't require NBA boundaries stopping the Pacers from processing its Process-process. The Pacers processed it back in June, didn't burden itself with overreaction.

Indiana does require someone telling men my age in Ford trucks twice my height to only use the passing lane for passing, not chudding on the phone.

The bottom's been bad, this year it is better: Charlotte is a game, y'all. The Jazz love each other and play hard, well. The Pelicans play nicely when healthy, love working at home, the Clippers whupped the Rockets on national stream, and the Kings, well, listen, not everyone can be warriors.

WARRIORS

I cannot tell my readers on any day, holy or otherwise, that I've grown fond of Draymond Green over the years. Perhaps the best defensive player I've ever seen, I would absolutely give Green a "hmmmmm" if asked to put together an all-time NBA rotation to top any other.

The Warriors aren't bad in the slightest. GSW even encouraged some garbage time in a win over Orlando, but, those are home wins. You're supposed to beat the Suns and Magic at home with Stephen Curry working wonderfully.

But Steve Kerr and Draymond Green got in another fight, so.

You're gonna trade Draymond Green now? Not really – no normal team has wanted to touch Draymond Green since he touched Jordan Poole – but pretend suitors exist. Pretend Draymond Green makes $2.7 million next year (he makes $27 million) at age 28 (he turns 36 in March). Pretend he helps on offense (he owns a 5-to-3 assist-to-turnover ratio and hits 32 percent from deep) in ways which arguably exceed his formidable defensive contributions.

That's a middle-aged divorce, and frankly, we don't need that sort of drama from the Warriors now that the Klay moved away. We're trying to enjoy the holiday, Warriors. Nobody wants to hear about the weird shit Draymond watches on Rumble, Warriors, everyone's husband watches weird shit on Rumble.

Can't bail now, simply because age induced worry which begat tension. The Warriors won't trade but will deal with the fissure, promising as much immediately after the Magic win. Draymond already has enough in him for two podcasts per week, Maron-style, he doesn't need the added intrigue of a tragic separation.

I mean, we already had to hear Maron break up with Moon Unit Zappa as it happened. My heart cannot take another one of those.

The Warriors are .500 with Steph Curry missing two-thirds of performances. Jonathan Kuminga is not a thing but, trust me, GSW expected this. Jimmy Butler is indisputably Jimmy Butler. Buddy Hield slipped but Will Richard stepped up, Brandin Podziemski's done well, DeAnthony Melton doesn't have his legs yet but Pat Spencer surely does. The Warriors need a big who can walk and chew gum at the same time, a common lament for this franchise.

The problem isn't Green, but the Warriors' ongoing inability to add another game-bending star. Someone needed beyond Butler was always required for the Warriors to be regarded as a championship contender, and Golden State tried to make up for that hole with a uniform for Al Horford, hope for Kuminga, whole lotta prayers spent on helpers (Melton, Trayce Jackson-Davis, Q-Post).

It worked: 15-15 with Curry around for 21 of these things. It took a lot to make it work, though. Re-introducing those throbbing nerves, which Kerr and Green can't help but fling bounce passes toward.

The Warriors need another tall dude to dunk. This is nothing new. No point in getting angry unless you're getting angry at Mike Dunleavy Jr. which in that case, fine, Mike's tall enough, he can handle it.

He's heard worse. Dunleavy Jr. sat behind the Blazer bench during the playoffs while his dad coached – inches from Rasheed Wallace's seat – when Jr. was 18 and 19.

Mike Dunleavy Jr. has heard worse, he subscribes to the bonus episodes of Draymond Green's podcast.

Mike Dunleavy Jr. has heard worse, there are three Straight, No Chaser ticket stubs in Mike's office, each from a different decade.

Mike Dunleavy Jr. has heard worse, he was in the room when they chose Kelenna Azubuike over Jim Barnett.

NO FOURS

No four-point NBA shots, yet.

There might be someday, I'll fight it. We can't live in a world where hitting 30 percent of an attempt is a good thing.

No need to worry about a foe – for me, dating back four decades, a basketball jump shot – on Christmas. Love your friend. In my case, the left shoulder jump hook. Right shoulder turnaround jumper.

This is why Alonzo Mourning, though fearsome in opposition, was never my foe.

And because the Heat weren't it. Never scared of 'em. Trade for small forwards who can bust Scottie Pippen and then Pat Riley never uses them.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT KELLY OLYNYK

Take a day off, think good thoughts about every NBA player, even Kelly Olynyk.

ROCKETS

Lost three road overtime games. Can we settle down. Could you imagine this team with, like, Fred VanVleet?

THE SNOOP GAME

He'll be in on the broadcast of a live game, but it won't happen until after Christmas. Twenty-First Century Snoop is roundly inoffensive, my problem isn't with his presence but breaking the seal on celebrity visits.

We don't need famous people talking over NBA games any time they need to sell something. We don't need Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard pitching bullshit over a third quarter with potential analysis I'm trying to play loud electric guitar over.

EVERYONE GAVE US A LITTLE

The Pistons didn't drop a beat, the Knicks didn't miss a step, Orlando recovered, Boston plays like nothing happened, Toronto turned it around, Philly rediscovered its joy and it is in the form of those dozens of JOY pillows you know Joel Embiid has throughout his house.

The Heat made a run, the Hawks made run, Minnesota gave us a little reminder of what they're all about, what they're all about is sometimes Bones Hyland. They knew what they were doing.

We don't have to worry about what ails the Nuggets, literally, the team has enough for a championship and Cameron Johnson "only" badly sprained his knee, nothing torn. Phoenix is regular. The Lakers score well. Spurs ascended, Portland doesn't really want to make the playoffs anyway but they still might jump over a few.

All those stocking stuffers, plus those other presents.

The NBA is in an awfully good way for a league about to play 'NBC Magazine' to the NFL's resolution of 'Who Shot J.R.?'

Don't remember 'NBC Magazine?'

Because it aired opposite Bing Crosby's daughter arrested for trying to murder J.R. Ewing, and did not last long after that:

COOPER FLAGG

Answered the bell. Currently half of what he will be but often looks twice as good as anyone on the floor.

He never struggled, not even when starting his career out of position. His box score stats were always sparkly, we never needed to qualify his actions with age, looking away after three 7-3-1 nights in a week, triumphing 12-5-2 games with another mention of that December birthday. Close to Christmas, was that hard?

We should give 'Arrested Development' DVDs (available at any flea market) and a DVD player (are they still in the Mavs' lockers?) just so he can get that joke. Then we should get Flagg some Arrested Development CDs so he can understand why Mike Finley and Jason Kidd keep saying "Tennessee" to each other when the team plane lands in Memphis.

No 12-5-2s, here, let alone 7-3-1s. Cooper Flagg averages 24-6-4 in December, 18-years old and about to turn 19. At that age I was Behind the Boxscoring at OnHoops during the lockout year and I promise my protoblogging was not as good as what Cooper Flagg does at NBA so far.

I was the Cooper Flagg, however, of shoving shopping carts through slush and snow for six bucks an hour.

WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME

I love this song so much. Not because of this particular era, either: I love it as much as I despise 'Temporary Secretary.'

I can't claim it as some early childhood memory, I'm a Beatle nerd but didn't hear 'Wonderful Christmastime' until VH1 rolled it out during wonderful Christmas times in 1992, between 'Deeper and Deeper' and every cut from the 'Bodyguard' soundtrack, we were in flannel and Chuck Taylors by then.

I, sincerely, love this song. I'm the one. The other day while in the car and by myself I asked my phone to play it, registering the search with my own voice.

This isn't a plea for another try at 'Wonderful Christmastime' on another day, to lay down arms on Christmas. I've never even listened to 'Pipes of Peace.' Don't like it? I get it.

My gift is to assure you that the repeated use of 'Wonderful Christmastime' in radio and storefront playlists is not some op, some jingle sent to crank the temperature inside an already-stressful season and encourage calorie intake. Do not look up my connection to Frito-Lay. The song has its fans, however few, probably at about the same rate as we see dudes named "Kelly."

But there are a few of us, and this one wishes you peace and love. I wonder if Paul ever gave Ringo a synthesizer for Christmas. There's no way Starr's stomach could handle anything milked at Macca's farm.

Thank you for reading, even that last line. Merry Christmas and happy Holidays.