Bulls tuck in again
The first thing I ever bought online was a Conan O'Brien t-shirt, back in 1997, followed by a Memphis Pros shirt a year later. Hopped onto Amazon as soon as I could, CDs and books, eBay for old magazines and LPs. That was the last century, I don't buy anything online anymore. Not because the owner of Amazon is a prat, but because internet purchases are boring, I like to find things in stores, where cashiers may spot how magnificent my taste is. Plus, there's no way that vinyl is packed properly for transit.
Partially as result, I haven't been caught sporting many sports logos since the Pros draped duty. This aversion ended in 2020 when, because I'd worn a mask and washed my hands, the government sent me money. It was spring and I needed t-shirts and I was encouraged not to visit a thrift store for inscrutable local t-shirts to stretch out while mowing the lawn. Instead I was asked to stay at home and search online for clothing representing my views, to wear while in front of my laptop camera, expressing myself via logos.
Bought a Coby White t-shirt. It was on sale, I wore it once and it felt great and then I washed it and it felt cheap because it is, haven't worn it since. When I unpacked it I realized it said "WHITE" over the top of a large zero on the back and thought that was funny. After it shrunk I put it in a drawer and never pulled it back out, shoulda got the XL.
Days after I bought it, Bulls GM Gar Forman was finally let go of that job. White was Forman's final draft pick in 2019. Coby White was an obvious ex-Bull the night Gar Forman drafted him, became a certified ex-Bull in 2020 when Forman was deservedly let go. On the night Chicago drafted Coby, I wanted them to sign White to a lifetime contract. I still do, but Coby White's better where he's at.
With the Hornets. Nobody's been better off with the Hornets since the Lakers traded Vlade Divac to Charlotte and saved Vlade from appearing on 'The Single Guy.'
Nobody's left Bulls basketball better off than where they found them since Michael Jordan took a ride home from a stranger at O'Hare because the Chicago Bulls refused to send the No. 3 pick in the NBA draft a taxi.
No team is better off than the Bulls, raking in trillions despite only 12 playoff appearances since 'Seinfeld' ended, (the Grizzlies have 14 since 'Friends' ended). Four times in the East's semifinals (Hawks have been there seven times) for the Bulls since 1998. One Eastern finals cameo. Hawks have also been there.
No team is better off financially, but the Bulls biffed a bodacious bid to build off a brand slowly extricating itself from red and black, Y2K to Y2K26. As every year passes, more people associate Michael Jordan with "Michael Jordan" and not "Michael Jordan's Bulls," this breach will develop as years move along, as those of us who saw Jordan play in a Bulls uniform die off in the thousands via hot air balloon accidents.
Oh, what. You wanna die in a cold air balloon accident?
The Bulls should be worth twice as much, they've made many, many monies but this is a basketball and business failure for the Reinsdorfs. A competitive, Miami Heat-styled turn from the Bulls in the 2000s would put them in Laker and Cowboy territory, but the Bulls turned trivia without a pulse.
Millionaire sports personalities get up at 4 AM every weekday morning ready to loudly argue on cable television over the Lakers and Cowboys. None of these millionaires can name a single Chicago Bull.
