Southeast Division preview

Southeast Division preview

Hey. Welcome to the week. Let's talk about the worst NBA division. Perpetually, bad. Please subscribe, better NBA teams in follow-up emails.

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ORLANDO MAGIC

Last season: 41-41, lost in first round to Boston in five while averaging but 93 points per game.
Offseason: Desmond Bane acquired, along with other points per game.

C: Wendell Carter – he may wear his glasses, he may not, he was the starting center on the NBA's second-best defense in 2025 so he must be doing something right. Career 32 percent three-point mark as a Magic member, 23 percent last season, it didn't look great. Sometimes it looked fuzzy, even when it went in.
F: Paolo Banchero – needs to either connect upon a greater chunk of free throws (73 percent) or threes (32 percent) to round the corner into top-tier stardom. Rushed back from a debilitating oblique injury and mostly overcame it. Still can't justify that shot selection with that many clankers, happy to see him at full force moving forward, he contributes Grant Hill stats while only scratching at his surface.
F: Franz Wagner – similarly struggling on threes, 32 percent career, 29 percent in 2024-25, otherwise this guy is all buckets. Ugly buckets, super gross, but these Orlando forwards will spend all of 2025-26 dripping at the free throw line. While also gross, this bodes well for a long postseason trip.
SG: Desmond Bane – hard to overstate what a drag Kentavious Caldwell-Pope was on Orlando's offense last season, every time the ball swung to KCP you'd hope it would be The Time, it never was. Bane is a different player (he'll annoy his forward duo at times with pull-up threes), his threat is exactly what Orlando requires to be taken seriously.
PG: Jalen Suggs – outside the healthy return of Jalen Suggs, of course.

#Magic coach Jamahl Mosley said Jalen Suggs was “able to do a little bit of contact” during Tuesday’s practice, which included 3-on-3 work. Regarding Thursday’s preseason game and next week’s season opener, Orlando will monitor how Suggs responds to the work. Full update:

Jason Beede (@jbeede.bsky.social) 2025-10-14T18:32:11.956Z

Suggs is no All-Star, but the Magic miss him the most. He talks the most, guards the most guys, pulls up off the dribble to fire when nobody wants the grenade. Counting his record with the club last year (20-15) is no help, nor are his numbers, not representative because Jalen plays through injury.

Orlando's 2025-26 is a Finals trip waiting to happen, only if Suggs can get right.

And, maybe they trade for a whole new bench.

There are helpers, to be sure, Jonathan Isaac is roundly unloved (perhaps even by his own coaching staff) but also roundly underrated (perhaps even by, you get it) ... Goga Bitadze is boiling over from his time at Eurobasket and good, Goga is the perfect regular season bombshell, the bruiser to fill a box score and then sit when the playoffs come around. Not a bench big on names, but this talented two can push around mountains. And mounds: Charlotte and Washington and all those easy Southeast wins.

Jett Howard was passable in the minors last year, and he's still tall, but his stroke stinks at the major Magic-level and he's already 22, it is time to start not being terrible ... New Magic point guard Tyus Jones turned the ball over more frequently with Phoenix last year than Jones did in Washington or Memphis but that was likely the media's fault for predicting too many Suns wins ... Anthony Black was not great last year but his ability to be nearly OK inside Orlando's rotation helps the group remain afloat with Jalen Suggs out of the lineup. I'd wish for calmer waters in 2025-26, certainly fewer drowning metaphors.

I'd hope for a more serene walk up the sidewalk, but with the Orlando backcourt appearing as unsettled as ever, Black's legs might not be up for splashing, er, improved three-point accuracy in 2025-26.

He won't turn 22 until midseason. The former No. 6 overall pick's box score contributions worry, but I remain a fan. I'm on the boat.

Moritz Wagner is still recovering from an ACL tear and wouldn't that be a boon, late in the season, to watch him pop off the Orlando bench, ready to wrassle and annoy and bait someone into a suspension-earning flagrant.

Tristan da Silva and Cole Anthony shared a birthday and I wonder if that was the final nail in Cole's Orlando-area coffin. Tristan is second-year swingman (with touch!), he sops up minutes like Anthony Black but earns far less consideration because da Silva is already 24. It is time to hop!

Talented player, da Silva, would not be shocked in the slightest if he hops all over in 2025-26. If TDS can share minutes with Desmond Bane's shooting stroke, all the better. Tristan may have been a reach at No. 18 in the 2024 draft but he was also drafted for his reach, those long arms.

Desmond Bane, however, does not set to sea with what I'd call "sailor's arms." Coupla deck swabbers, right there.

Jase Richardson, 6-6 wingspan, Dunk Contest Dad. That's gotta be rough, especially around the Nerf.

Jase is not, as of this date, a "passer," but every little bit of able backcourt work helps the Magic this year. If the 20-year old can shoot his way into acclaim, get giddy.

Noah Penda turns 21 midseason, a professional for three years (France!) at this point:

Would you watch this? I'd watch this. And the Nets' 2025 Summer League roster is basically the 2025-26 Brooklyn Nets.

Over four teams, 491 minutes and two NBA seasons Colin Castleton has dunked 11 times, one-fifth of his career successful field goal makes, and for some reason I feel like I've seen each of them.

Veteran guard Lester Quinones is only 25 and here in case everyone's shins fall apart all over again ... Ex-Net Reece Beekman turned in a solid four-year career in Virginia prior to a horrific initial 469 minutes in the NBA in 2024-25, though he did perform well in the minors last season.

Defensively, this team should remain the class of the East.

Yet even with the addition of Bane, healthy seasons from Orlando's forwards, the Magic will probably be last in the NBA in three-point makes. Last again in three-point makes per 100 possessions (the Magic were No. 29 in pace in 2024-25), fighting with Brooklyn for league-worst three-point percentage.

That's not a championship contender. The Magic can be a very good team, I would not be surprised if the Finals were in Orlando next June, but the Magic require peeling off three consecutive exhibitions of outsized perimeter marksmanship against superior, playoff defense.

Jalen Suggs is the sort of brawler to battle past all this, he can make May his own, but we don't know what he'll look like in May. Upgrading from Cole Anthony to Tyus Jones helps with consistency, if not punch. Wendell Carter's prime is ahead of him, but it doesn't figure to highlight any All-Star appearances.

What can change is Wagner, Banchero. They can hit threes and get to the line. If the pair are unable to change Orlando's fortunes from outside the arc, the Magic will continue to teeter. The defense won't abandon them, but one side ain't enough.

Guess: 49-33, No. 3 in the East.

ATLANTA HAWKS

Last season: 40-42, lost two Play-In games.
Offseason: ATL watched the East eat itself and took some to-go boxes home.

C: Kristaps Porziņģis – the oldest guy on team will be expected to put it over the top, five skills at a time. KP did not finish nearly as well as he used to in 2024-25, he's only worked 501 NBA games in 10 NBA seasons and he turned 30 in August. If he plays 65 times, though, the Hawks boast a pair of hands that Eastern opponents cannot counter. This guy is big and he saves possessions.
PF: Jalen Johnson – the Hawks have themselves a fun, LaPhonso Ellis-type, if he could only stay on the floor. ATL's offense tightened up last season, in a good way, it was delightful watching Johnson make the occasional downhill pass.
SF: Zaccharie Risacher – top overall pick worked 75 games as a teenager last season, in a new country, made it look like we should expect this sort of ease with every young professional with a life turned upside-up. Turned it over 92 times in 1846 minutes, clearly I'm impressed with his composure. He's going to be a good flow forward to have around for a long, long time: Hawks are full of extra passers.
G: Dyson Daniels – Hawks took a chance that this chance-taker could thrive in a starter's role, extra minutes, Hawks won the bet. Won't turn 23 until March, all these long arms are learning together and that's what should scare opponents.
PG: Trae Young – did fewer things in 2024-25 and still ended up winning a box score category, assists per game, 11.6 an outing. Personally I am still not entirely chuffed over Trae Young, a career 35 percent three-point shooter (34 percent last season), taking seven threes a game. It may not stand out to Hawks fans, they watched Mookie Blaylock for years, but to an outsider it chafes.

Zaccharie Risacher only averaged 24 minutes per game in his rookie season, but he was pushed into the 30s a few times deep into that rookie campaign and, nah, the Hawks don't need to do that again. Enter Nickeil Alexander-Walker, who entered the league as a would-be scorer before being shamed out of that role and into the helmet of the Glue Guy.

NAW hit 38 percent on threes for the Wolves before that look fell off (33 percent) in the playoffs. It happens, he plays 82 games a year.

Vit Krejci is the shirtless man with tattoos at the park you've never been to that you go back to for a second time the next day, hoping he'll be there, telling yourself you'll be ready for those passes. I've played with Vit Krejcis, they can't shoot for shit but they'll make plays all day and I'm pretty sure they were in jail recently. Like, earlier this month-recently. Also, was that sleeveless shirt stuffed in his sock the whole time?

Onyeka Okongwu is a dunk machine who popped 35 percent of his corner threes last season. It can't be fun for Okongwu to watch the front office swap out one Clint Capela for another Kristaps Porziņģis, but Okongwu (25 in December, 40 starts last season) understands KP is no great certainty for opening introductions.

Luke Kennard will be part of some big runs for the Hawks and also Hawk opponents this season, don't care, strong acquisition ... No. 23 pick Asa Newell, listen, I like the idea and I want it to work:

Charles Bassey is a center who blocks shots and fouls people. I love him, of course ... Caleb Houstan still hasn't dunked in an NBA game though he did try again, in 2024-25. Was in and out of Orlando's rotation last season but still managed 40 percent from deep. Already knocked in a game-winner in the exhibition season.

Mouhamed Gueye is a 6-11 forward/center who looks 7-9, when he rears up for a three you want to call the kids in the room to watch it go ... N'Faly Dante is an ex-Oregon center, the Hawks are tall ... Keaton Wallace, all-time two-way contract champion, someone please give Keaton Wallace a full-time job.

Nikola Djurisic is 21 and a five-year pro: Serbia, Spain, College Park SkyHawks.

Trae Young is trouble! His defense is bad, his below-average three-point numbers a millstone in many instances. Young had the same three-point mark as Trey Lyles last season, I can't take him seriously when he dares opponents with a logo three-pointer!

That's the regular season, though, Nerdtime. Postseason begins? Numbers roll back to zero, by then Trae Young and these reformatted Hawks have six months under the belt. They trust each other, play with humor, and boast a coach who can navigate from Tuesday to Thursday, same opponent, different day.

By then Asa Newell could be a part of this, Trae is back inside Trae Young's playoffs, and opponents find it increasingly difficult to manufacture clean possessions around (whatever remains of) Atlanta's creeping, confident length. Last season KP and NAW contributed the same steal rate as Giannis and guards like Coby White and Jalen Brunson. Fresh Hawks could really frustrate a playoff opponent which overextended itself in the regular season.

And Atlanta can set itself up nicely within that regular season if Jalen Johnson is around for most of it. If the Hawks can field JJ for two-thirds the season, 100 percent of the NBA can't stop this guy in transition.

Much could go wrong in this regular season and might, but don't act like Atlanta is built for that. This group was made for a Finals run, and I'm not putting it past them.

Guess: 44-38, No. 6 in East.

MIAMI HEAT

Last season: 37-45, traded Jimmy Butler, won Play-In, swept in opening round by Cleveland.
Offseason: Butler by now swapped for four critical players, so, back to the Play-In we point.

C: Bam Adebayo – kept at the three-point experiment all season (36 percent) and lost a few free throw trips because of it, so what, 2025-26 will be rough and the Heat need to add easier stretches to the 28-year old's career, busied with bruises.
F/C: Kel'el Ware – Heat brass and coaches and players desperately trying to keep this guy from turning into the next Hassan Whiteside and instead Kel'el is like Hassan Whiteside? I love that guy, he was awesome in 2K.
F: Andrew Wiggins – unflappable former top overall pick hilariously contributed the same True Shooting and Player Efficiency Rating in GSW (43 appearances) as he did in Miami (17 games). Turns 31 midseason and makes $30.1 million in 2026-27 with a player option, someone's gonna need a wing to sop minutes, Wiggins is a sponge. The Heat may not be done adding players off Jimmy Butler's old contract.
SG: Tyler Herro – Will miss at least the first month of the season with a left foot injury, stemming from a left ankle injury that Miami cannot bleep around with. The last thing our evenings need is Tyler Herro thinking twice before pushing off, Miami basketball is often dull, Tyler is not dull. Herro was significantly better in 2024-25 mainly because he earned more free throws, that interest needs to be sustained. The best way there is a healthy start, his dogs need rest.
PG: Davion Mitchell – moved into the lead lineup during the playoffs and good, Mitchell's starting candidacy was always assured somewhere and Miami feels like a great place for Davion. The Heat now boast a 2020s version of Anthony Carter without having to trade up for Anthony Carter's kid. Career 33 percent three-point shooter nailed 49-108 threes as a member of the Heat, so, strong start.

For those of us cramming all draft research into the minutes available during the long drive home from Oklahoma City, the Ringer's rankin' of Kasparas Jakucionis as a top-seven draft talent is still ringin' in our ears. Miami took a chance on the 19-year old with the No. 20 pick Golden State sent along in the Butler trade, and, yes.

Apparently he kicks the ball sometimes but otherwise the Illinois product looks like the sort of every-stat guy with sheets to make a simulation purr:

I'd also bet a 24 percent turnover rate this rookie year.

This is where Simone Fontecchio is now, if you want something fun to watch at 8:12 PM Eastern on a Wednesday in January ... Keshad Johnson is a 3-and-D banger who 3'd terribly in the minors last year, but could be a welcome addition to the deep rotation this season.

Pretty good chance 32-year old Norman Powell wins a Player of the Week award with Tyler Herro out, this guy will push for an All-Star berth and then probably drop off the face of the box score sometime in 2026-27.

Nikola Jovic will be bowling fools by then, the 22-year old was up in the regular season and especially down in last spring's playoffs but the Heat predict his output in 2025-26 will be positively Wagnerian:

Terry Rozier has a chance to help Miami roll over unprepared foes early in the season (before being dumped as a tax casualty). A bum hamstring kept the 31-year old Rozier outta camp but he did make one exhibition season appearance ... Teams learned how to pitch Jaime Jaquez in 2024-25, but in the East is passable play could be the edge in so many of these coin flip conquests.

Precious Achiuwa is one of one, nobody knows this better than his rookie coach, this is probably why the Heat waived Precious Achiuwa on Saturday ... Trevor Keels is a 6-5 guard, volume scorer in the minors, little modicum of efficiency. But if the Heat like him!

Dru Smith is back from an Achilles tear and apparently ready to go, strong news for Heat team missing Herro and sometimes Rozier ... Pelle Larsson also needs to step into some free throws and midrange splashes at reserve shooting guard, the three-point stroke is about to hit, I'm in on Pelle Larsson. Pelle Larsson's offense, I should clarify.

None of these Heat are renown for participating in darn near every game. Miami's young first-round draft pick might be a net negative in his first season, last year's lottery selection could be empty stats.

The Heat baseline, however, guarantees some measure of success. The players want to be here, Miami boasts perhaps the best coach in the game, the East is terrible. Miami was 10-6 against divisional opponents last season and that number could improve even with greater commitments in Atlanta, Orlando, a relatively wizened approach in Washington and Charlotte. Opponents require outlasting the Heat, you can't just throw names at them and hope it adds up to 112 points.

Young players can keep a group afloat in 2026 East, if Jaquez and Jovic provide waves off the bench and Davion Mitchell works 70-odd games, Miami's depth may be enough to overcome what little punch exists in the starting five. This is not a rotation for all seasons, unless it stays healthy through autumn, winter and spring.

Listen.

Nearly every day my neighbor uses the keyless entry into his car to either warm it up or cool it down for ten full minutes before entering, he does this every time he uses the car. This is no exaggeration, there is never a quick rush to his car for any reason, there is no point in our Indiana year that he doesn't let his car run for ten minutes with windows closed before entering. There is no time of year where the temperature inside nor apparently outside his new'ish, top-spec Subaru crossover is to his taste.

Tyler Herro should pay attention during Herro's absence, noticing the Heat struggling without him but also surviving. A first full season without Jimmy Butler should do good things for Herro's ability to make himself a threat, but this is still not a superstar.

The Heat are too solid and deep to teeter into a rebuild, the East too terrible to pick up easy tanking losses. Unless Bam misses an unexpected amount of performances, these Heat will be in the mix again, and are capable of winning a Play-In again even with this somewhat ungainly roster.

Guess: 36-46, N0. 12 in the East.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

Last season: 18-64, last in the East, full and somewhat severe commitment to youth.
Offseason: Washington dropped four spots in the lottery and didn't earn the first overall pick but responded nicely by adding a few players born in the last century.

C: Alex Sarr – so he plays hot potato in the paint, so what, so did Ben Wallace. So did Kwame Brown, too, but Sarr's marks in the lane were way better at the same age than Brown's rookie year. Then again, Sarr wasn't catching angry passes from a resentful Michael Jordan, rather, hopeful lobs from a supportive Bub Carrington.
F: Bilal Coulibaly – Wizards could place a forward or guard here, Coulibaly hasn't worked in the exhibition season while nursing a sore thumb and should return to the starting nod when November rolls 'round. Former No. 7 overall pick was not amazing at Eurobasket.
SF: Khris Middleton – I don't mean this cruelly but Khris hasn't played so much that it might help. He's 34 but, hey, 95 games over the last three seasons could mean a rested and relieved Middleton in 2025-26. The best-case scenario for a capable two-way ex-champion who happens to work on a massive (over $33 million) expiring contract.
SG: C.J. McCollum – also a free agent in 2026, after the Wizards (and presumably some other club, past February) pay him over $30 million. Three-point shot trimmed a little last season at age 33 but if he holds up this could (and should) be a top-rung trade target.
PG: Bub Carrington – all 82 games worked at age 19 in 2024-25, it was genuinely heartwarming to see Bub either starting or tearing off sweats darn near every night, truckin' out there while everyone else sits at least once. He ran the show, tried to get out of the way, occasionally dashed into the lane, didn't get calls, kicked it back out. Hit 34 percent of his threes and turned 20 in July and is 6-4 with already 2500 minutes under his belt. Was not good, let's say "statistically," last year.

Marvin Bagley III is a non-minor part of the Wizards' plans, so, don't worry, they're not completely flush with proficiency. Washington won't stop hiring this guy, started him the other night. It isn't as if Marvin Bagley III is a hack, he isn't terrible, but you didn't see any other team trying to sign Marvin Bagley III, did you?

Tre Johnson also started and all of this will be fun:

Cam Whitmore could hit early, especially if he holdovers don't shoot straight. If it hits I hope it holds, there are a lot of early-season success stories which turn unplayable as the regular season moves along, for whatever reason.

Cam's crammed 75 career dunks in 93 games. He just turned 21, he's gonna live at the line if he plays it straight. Everybody is ready for Cam Whitmore.

Swingman Kyshawn George was not good as a rookie and 2024's No. 24 overall pick has not real room for minutes as the 21-year old surveys his sophomore season. Even if the Wizards do quickly move on from McCollum or even Coulibaly.

Will Riley is 19 and 6-8 and essentially the selection Washington earned for taking on Marcus Smart's contract, he seems fun and fluid but he also stole the ball but nine times in 900 freshman Big Ten minutes:

Wizards fans will watch far more Malaki Branham than anticipated, but Wizards brass anticipated all this Malaki, every bit this Branham. He's the first to pick up ticks when the old fellas take some time off.

Justin Champagnie and his brother are two of my favorite NBA players, they'll do anything to be part of a score, even if that means doing nothing at all. Justin is a gem, only 24, I wonder what really good teams think about him.

Anthony Gill is a second and third-quarter guy that I have a feeling may retire as one of the all-time beloved Washington Wizards ... Alondes Williams' Instagram handle is "butterboy_manman" ... Kyshawn George looked utterly overwhelmed last season and not in ways I assume will easily go away ... Square-shaped center Tristan Vukcevic is still here and still massive and I say give the large manman a chance in the pivot.

AJ Johnson was a Bucks first-round pick but wait whoa whoa don't let me lose you, I know "Bucks first-round pick" isn't the best start but AJ Johnson did play well in Summer League a few months ago so he still may have a chance, after all.

Even if Jon Horst and Doc Rivers thought he was the best player on the board.

Similar amid the Why Not file is Dillon Jones: OKC moved off his $2 million contract commitment for 2025-26 and it will be good to have the four-year Weber State product pushing Alex Sarr in practice, potentially relieving Khris Middleton. He will be 24 this season, in 54 games with the Thunder last season he fouled a lot. But also missed threes.

Corey Kispert has three more seasons on his contract left, he managed 36 percent from long range last season. He cranked 42 percent back in 2022-23 and may have another few years of that in him, we don't know but we're about to find out, Mr. Kispert will be in many lineups.

Washington was not competitive last season, it did not add the top overall pick in the draft, large upgrades were not constructed in the offseason to follow.

Every young player is a year older than they were last year, I can assure this, but those players were not good at the NBA last year. Expecting a jump is too much, Sarr's difficulties with cement hands seal that foundation for me.

The point is growing together, where the Wizards are a step ahead of other rebuilding projects. Rob Dillingham may be crossing exhibition opponents over out in Minnesota, but Bub Carrington knows what to do when NBA games get real, when slickness isn't enough. Sarr dealt with the slings and arrows in that up-and-don't-put-the-ball-down rookie campaign.

Whitmore and Coulibaly will push each other, as will the Johnsons. Middleton and McCollum won't let any of these new teammates fuck around, those instructional moments will be worth heaps more than the 20-odd points each veteran will attempt contributing to keep the Wizards from losing by 20-odd points every night. Maybe Kyshawn George surprises, maybe Tre wins a Rookie of the Year, we're still a long way away even if each hit.

By design, the tank rolls onward. Washington gives up its 2026 first-round selection to New York if the Wizards fall out of the top eight in the lottery. Washington dropped four slots in the 2025 version, D.C. understands anything is possible and wants to assure one of the worst records in the NBA, not the fourth or fifth-worst.

Beyond that, Washington controls its own future first-round selections, as Wizards should. Washington also earns OKC's choice in 2026 and Golden State's in 2030, the Wizards could swap into different selections in 2028, 2029 or 2030, though this isn't likely.

Beal became Poole who became McCollum. Wall became Russ who became Kuzma who became Middleton. Some picks and salary clarity thrown in, I am clear and caught up, but overall this isn't a sparkling turnaround. There is no star here, and the embarrassment over the Knick obligation (Washington could stink for an entire season and drop to the No. 9 pick, nothing for its wasted 2025-26) only enervates as we kick this can down the street for another 82 games.

This would be a fun year to embarrass rebuilding lineups in other cities, for Wizards fans to feel real warmth over what Sarr and Tre Johnson can turn into. One of these days, Washington will be the team everyone talks about.

None of those days will be during this season, unless Tre turns the team's corner.

Guess: 22-60, No. 13 in the East.

CHARLOTTE HORNETS

Last season: 19-63, Brandon Miller missed most the season, Lonzo Ball's ankles have bad luck.
Offseason: Veterans added. Along with the opposite of veterans.

C: Moussa Diabaté – big and large and butt and rebound and butt and large. Turns 24 midseason and his moving feet could be key to any Hornet turnaround, the paint was wide open in 2024-25.
F: Kon Kneuppel – grew 20 a few weeks ago but already developed 24-foot NBA three-point range:

F: Miles Bridges – nah.
SF: Brandon Miller – scorer, that's it. Great one, though obviously I'm unconvinced a healthy season (Miller missed 55 games in his second pro campaign) won't flip Charlotte's chances. Still, potential 30-point NBA guy.
PG: LaMelo Ball – defense remains atrocious because he doesn't trust his ankles, teammates.

Ball's front office didn't exactly compile the 2004-05 San Antonio Spurs to surround Ball in 2024-25, or for 2025-26, but Stephen Curry wasn't surrounded by star defenders when his ankles were made by Bic. David Lee isn't the reason we never, ever talked about Stephen Curry's ankles again after 2012. That's Steph, he grew stronger.

Charlotte's drafted the best players available and good for them. The onus is on Ball to believe in his game even when he's off the ball, and to strengthen his core enough to outlast the sorts of NBA seasons he's visualized, prepared for, since childhood.

For me, Summer League was all about rooting for Tidjane Salaun.

I'm not joking. I want it to work so bad, I need good Charlotte Hornets in my life.

The No. 6 pick in the 2024 draft also turned 20 a few weeks ago, Tidjane Salaun's learning under Grant Williams and will get to grow alongside Kon Knueppel, not ahead or behind him. Though Tidjane Salaun will play behind Kon Knueppel, because Tidjane Salaun is not very good at the moment.

Collin Sexton's provided me with such supreme regular season entertainment, I will continue to defend Sexton with detail and diligence even as he plays well for another bad team. Why? Because other teams take great care to do the same.

Sexton is a problem, and in an Eastern Conference which could come down to teams winning outsized amounts of coin-flip games, Collin could turn into this season's Malik Beasley. Not in the federal way.

Pat Connaughton still has plenty of value as a possession-starter and extra-pass guy, even if his eventual three-pointer (when teams back off) clangs ... Back injuries are no joke, he may not be as immediately capable as expected, but I'm grinnin' picturin' Tre Mann running his own show off the Hornet bench. Charlotte fans had to watch Elfrid Payton last season. Elfrid Payton in 2025.

Grant Williams is still on the mend from a multi-ligament tear last December, Josh Green's left shoulder was surgically repaired over the summer, neither have a "definitive timetable" for return. Williams is likely lost for the season, though Green's pastures are a little healthier.

Mason Plumlee is back, he was on the best team of Ball's career and he enjoyed 62 slam-dunks in 2024-25. That's more slam-dunks than Anthony Edwards or Donovan Clingan or Myles Turner or Alex Sarr. Sarr dunked many more times (58) than the amount (three?) of times I presumed Alex Sarr dunked.

But we're not here to trash the Wizards. That's what the Wizards section is for. We're here to trash the Hornets, for drafting a golfer to play basketball.

Liam McNeeley won the Scottish Amateur at Prestwick but he is 6-7 so he has to play small forward for the Charlotte Hornets now:

Sion James is five-year point guard out of Tulane and Duke, a second-rounder ready to contribute, about the same age as Josh Giddey. The Hornets will never have to hire Elfrid Payton again.

The Hornets signed Spencer Dinwiddie. I repeat, no Elfrid in 2026.

Ryan Kalkbrenner is several months older than Chet Holmgren, Zach Edey. No. 34 pick on a 7-footer who crushed at Creighton – I mean, crushed – for five years. But he better hit the ground banging. Not in a federal way.

Ibou Badji is a 7-footer who worked with Portland in 2023-24 and I was like oh yeah I remember this guy but then I looked him up and he played 22 games and 226 minutes so I thought there's no way you remember this guy but then it was like, what the hell else are you going to watch at midnight besides Portland games? Especially when they're late uploading that night's old Conan monologue.

If LaMelo Ball and Brandon Miller beep-beep-back in healthy seasons, the pair's defensive misgivings won't matter much. The East is full of grabbable wins, these two are out-of-this-world talents.

That's enough: Kon knows where to cut and clear and Collin Sexton will net some ballgames for them, Josh Green could turn into one of December's best pickups.

Every year, they tell us, every year the NBA is going to unleash torrents of trades on Dec. 15, or whenever free agents are available to deal. Never happens! What a crock.

Green is terrific, Tre Mann and Plumlee are capable. If healthy, there is competence where there was swung question marks. Punctuation watching the other team dribble the other way.

The doof minutes will all come from the stars in 2025-26, not the helpers. Charlotte has no big lugs to blame (they're all in Phoenix). No Nick Smith Jr. or DaQuan Jeffries to gnash at. If the Hornets play worse than anyone in the NBA that night, it'll be because Connaughton and Dinwiddie are past-retirement age. It won't be because some 23-year old fringe NBA talent is effing up.

This is why I think the Hornets will play worse in the NBA than anyone in the NBA on most nights. Spencer. Pat.

The vets are worth the bet, and it will be a relief watching coach Charles Lee coaching veterans. Charlotte was a mess last season but it wasn't hopeless, that was Washington. When Green returns, Lee owns an NBA-styled rotation to boast.

This should be better, and if Ball and Miller turn a corner, it could be an event.

Guess: 20-62, No. 14 in the East.

BON BON VIE

Thanks for reading!

Previously: ATLANTIC