Kawhi Leonard outta L.A.

So, we'll all find out in dutifully-sourced time from Pablo Torre how this Kawhi Leonard "basketball" feint was dropped to dissuade us from paying attention to Washington D.C.'s empty lawns at the America 250 celebration.

To stop us from reflecting on the fact that the lead-spewing cars of 1976 still managed to out-patriot us current commies who own porches and fences out here in 2026. To avert our eyes from the fewer American flags to be found by comparison five decades onward, even if the gas prices (expanded for inflation: $3.30 a gallon in mid-1976) needed to drive and purchase these symbols remain similar.

Our nation's chuds better put up some bunting, because we can't continue chatting about losing an NBA superstar to Canada. A country which chose not to join us in (the sporting fun of) North American aristocratic 18th century tax avoidance.

Canada kept away from America's single-revolution turn from the clutches of the monarchy and into the arms of capital and Kawhi Leonard, as avowed and diligent a capitalist as anyone in the NBA, is off to Toronto.

Fucking, York.